Thursday, January 27, 2011

a letter to someone i once knew

Dear old friend,

why did you ever change? why did our friendship just disappear? those are some questions i've been feeling like need answers more than anything these days. you were once the only person i could really count on and could talk to anything about. you were the person who taught me life lessons and would tell me i had potential when i most certainly thought i did not. why did you ever have to leave my life? WHY? do you know how much it breaks my heart to hear you talk so highly of people who you've known for a handful of weeks when i've known you almost my whole life? put aside the fact that those people could be well deserving of love or are really amazing; we're talking about our friendship here. since when do you love this or have that interest when i would hear the exact opposite feeling for them? do not mistake these questions and sentances for complete hatred of who you are now; i think who you've evolved to be is a wonderful and beautiful person, but where in this universe is the old you? can she not fit into your hectic life anymore? yes, i miss you, sometimes more than anything if i have a day where i think 'oh, SHE would understand this' or 'i wish i could hear her opinion on this issue' and it still kills me, makes my heart hurt SO much, to know i'm no longer important in your life. but please, tell me where the old you has gone? where are her interests and opinions? her passions and talents she once filled her life with? did you just toss them aside like me? no longer important or relevent like our friendship? where is the girl i met, after so much time had passed of different states, moves and houses that re-kindled my love for people and life? where did her murder occur? don't look at me, all i remember is a vague point in the past where you stopped existing in my daily life; i have no clue where you decided to kill off your old self and become this new person. like i stated, this new woman is lovely, i like her; but when you decide to change who you are, that doesn't mean that the good parts of your past can't change with you. i'm not talking staying up super late and only getting two hours of sleep before work talent, i'm speaking of photography like talent. yes, it's still there, but not as strongly. where's the girl who used to carry a camera around with her everywhere? i'm not going to go into more detail because i honestly don't care to shed more tears over your lost existence and the friendship that i want to see again, but don't see how it will re-occur. and i do feel like i might have already said too much. but i wanted to get this letter out there, in the open. because i feel like it's been a long time coming and i can't just decide to let it go. some people say that's what you have to do with things like this, but being stubborn is a trait i will never kill off. so, whether you know this is about you or have no clue as to why i've written all this out, i hope you at least got to read it. because maybe someday, something in you will click and i'll see the old friend and maybe even the old friendship i once knew.


a broken hearted old friend


  1. The worst part about being far away is not being able to give a hug :( Love you!

  2. i sort of feel like this has happened to a friend of mine recently. i haven't changed, but she just kind of forgot we were friends i guess. it hurts, but i know that friends come and friends go, even when we don't want them to.

    here's a bear hug!

  3. Thank you for sharing that letter. ♥ I am a new follower of your blog, and hope to keep comming back.


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