am i the only one?

last night i wrote out this long, tear inducing paragraph of words and thoughts of my life lately. but decided not to post it in light of a new day and hopefully new beginnings. while i am still very emotionally sick and feel somewhat alone as far as people around me go (minus family of course; but when you're around a group of people, the same people for almost every day, every week, you need new surroundings), i am trying my best to fix it all now and hope that you all can bear with me while i scarcely post and talk about anything interesting anymore.

so...instead of a long, drawn-out article of sadness, here's a song that i have loved ever since i was seven and now love even more since in the last 5 years have been able to relate to it:

"There is no good reason
I should have to be so alone
I'm smothered by this emptiness
Lord I wish I was made of stone
Like a fool I lent my soul to love
And it paid me back in change
God help me am I the only one
Who's ever felt this way?

A heart that's worn and weathered
Would know better than to fight
But I wore mine like a weapon
Played out love like a crime
And it wrung me out and strung me out
And it hung years on my face
God help me, am I the only
Who's ever felt this way?

Now my sense of humor needs a break
I see a shadow in the mirror
And she's laughin' through her tears
One more smile's all I can fake

There is a wound inside me
And it's bleeding like a flood
There are times when I see a light ahead
Hope is not enough
As another night surrounds me
And it pounds me like a wave
God help me, am I the only one
Who's ever felt this way?"


hopefully this will be the last post like this for a good while. so sorry for not keeping this a happy, lovely blog and not posting often. i'm going to try and work on that this next week.

much, much love to you all,
- L