Wednesday, February 2, 2011

so many things i hate about you

so exhausted.
tired of trying to get through to you.
wherever you are.
missing the times we shared.
tried to fight the tears tonight.
but they just came.
why i keep blaming myself.
i'll never know why.
but i will.
maybe i should send you that letter.
that explains how i feel.
maybe then your eyes will be new.
to how much hurt you've impacted.
i tried to fight the tears.
but they just came.
and killed my life.
once again.
feeling restless and unhinged. it's amazing how a day can go from so beautiful to a complete and utter emotional downfall. blogging was intended to be an online journal and mine is probably going to change to that within the next few weeks. if my attitude and life doesnt change, that is. i know i have a good life and it's so much better than a lot of people; and there's so many people in pain for worse issues. but i would wish for any other life right now, i'm pretty tired and annoyed with being me lately; the feelings just keep re-surfacing no matter how hard i try to bury them. i know there are people who care about me, but i couldn't be more alone right now. there's patience, at all and i want to scream at everyone for every little thing they do that comes across in a bad light to me. maybe i'm loosing my mind, maybe this is all stemming from too much time by myself, maybe i need to let things off my chest, really, to the people who've hurt me and have no idea of their actions, MAYBE i've always been a bitch in disguise. who knows, no one probably cares.
here's to the start of actual journaling.


  1. :( i hope you're feeling better soon lovely x

  2. I've been on the receiving end of something like this, and let me tell you, you're better off just worrying about you. You're not going to make someone else understand, because you're probably right: they don't care. If they did, you'd know it.


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