Tuesday, July 20, 2010

who's generation?

who are the people who know you best?

who are those whom you feel closest to?

who do you feel most yourself around?

these people we surround ourselves with and can be most natural and comfortable around, who are they and where did the relationship form from?

and what's the age difference?

while i adore letter writing and every little piece of love and joy it brings into my life, literally every day; the internet and modern forms of communication also allow my soul to connect and find brilliant people whom i would most likely, probably never meet if it wasn't for things like: TWITTER, facebook, BLOGGING, email, texting, skype, and yes, even good ol' myspace.

example number one - two weeks ago i 'met' miss paige baker; through of all things twitter, facebook and blogging. yes, all three. i added her (on twitter) through the other lauren because i was told she was one of the 'most adorable people she'd ever met', haha. and truly, she is! then came facebook which through i found her wonderful blog. little did i know, she'd been following my blog before we met and had a button of my header on her main page! (i was instantly flattered and thankful and sent her an email telling her so.) insanely wonderful how people enter our lives, no? and the ways they have already been in and around them.

but anyway - last week while skimming my twitter page something caught my eye:

Paige Baker vpbakerDear ms. @fancybiscuit, I'm 16 but don't tell. My youngest friend is 21 and my best friend is 29. I think I was born too late. Why?

i have felt this way, way too many times, my whole life. and since i was sixteen, for the last four years i'd felt this way even stronger. some people say they think they should have been born in a different time or era, but i believe i was born too late. you see, most of my friends/aquaintances are and have been in their twenties, thirties and forties; few my own age or younger.

how does that happen? how do a few of us get into that position of really only relating or finding common ground with those a few or several years older than us?

often i've been told it's because i'm an 'old soul' or that i have more of the same interests as people 5, 10, 15 years older than myself. don't ask me though, i'm unsure myself as to why it is that i get on better with those a deal older than my age but here's some of paige's thoughts on the matter:

"I think I get along better/have more common ground with people 5-15 years older than myself because I've found that we think the same way. For a long time I struggled to find friends because befriending people above my age seemed just nearly out of the question. I remember in grade school having a hard time when everyone else liked the spice girls and I liked bob dylan.

So is not to say it's not a tricky way to maintain friendships. There are definitely thinks that will always be different between ages, for example, one of my best friends has four kids and my best friend is pregnant with her first. I know my way around a nursery and I know how to take care of kids and do often. But the fact remains: I'm not a mom. Until (/if) I am we will never have that commonality and there is some separation there. In the grand scheme of things though--everyone will have differences in friendships; I just have a different set. I am glad to have the friends I have."

i can completely relate on the front of what people listen to. the whole matter that people of my generation tend to lean on the side of hip hop, rap and mainstream pop while i grab inspiration from a number of indie artists and those before my birth year is really odd and interesting to me. why we've put this thought in 'today's generation's' heads that THIS is what they should think and do by those who sing or speak so to them is ridiculous. not saying i prefer innocence over truth and knowledge, but what ever happened to just singing about loving someone and it not be that kind of love? or singing a song about an octopus's garden or peace in the world? peace and love to the (majority of) 12-18 age group is something said on a t-shirt or how you end a conversation, not what it truly means and what the world and individual people need.

lennon and mccartney mend my broken heart when i'm at my loneliest and broken. joan jett, not miley cyrus, taught me that you don't have to be tamed and that women shouldn't stand aside, led to believe it's 'a man's world'. al green will be played at my wedding day because he's one of few that i feel really capture passion. i really, honestly love michael jackson because he was such an unbelievable and amazing artist; i listen to his music when my mind needs to be flooded with memories - not because his work is good to dance to.

like paige said, i'm grateful and glad to have the friends and relationships i do; and always happy when a new brilliant one enters my life unexpectedly, stronger than i thought it would become. it is kind of odd in the fact that some of my closest relationships are with people older and older than myself.

micaela, is only six years older than myself and has become one of the closest friends i've ever had and have currently. i would trust her with anything and she is one of only two people whom i can carry a phone conversation on with beyond twenty minutes. our lives could not be any more different, yet we click and get on extremely well. oh, and we've only known each other for six months. but! more on caela later in the week, because she deserves a post all her own.

carol is a friend i made through a youth group; she was the youth director and is in her early forties. there have been few and far between people to see me when i loose it and carol is one of even fewer to call me on it when i'm wrong. i think when you have a person like that in your life, it's good to keep them constant.

without even noticing it, carol and i have become really good friends and she's the only person i see movies with; subconsciously and because there's never anyone reliable enough to make plans with (locally) and keep me on track of time and when i need to leave my house, haha. (i have a real terrible habit of being late without even knowing so.) the beautiful thing about our relationship is that i tend to never notice the age difference or the fact that carol is only so many years younger than my own parents, never. that is a great thing for me because with quite a few relationships i was constantly reminded of age differences and would over-think way too many things. going both ways, she never treats me as a child or like some friends i used to have who were older would, and therefore thought they were better because of the knowledge and years they had over me. she's a true friend and most likely because of being an 'adult' always calls me back, makes plans, actually cares about me like i do her and i don't ever see our friendship out of my life.

lovelies, i have re-written this piece WAY too many times and could go on further if i needed to, but i feel you get the jist of what i am saying, no? and i want to throw it out there for you to answer some of the hidden questions up there. what ages do your friends vary? are you close in age to your closest ones? what draws you to a person and creates the relationship? this is a subject i'm really interested in (obviously) and value your answers and opnions on not only those questions but any other topics regarding friends, ages and common ground between those your soul grows closest to.

- L


  1. I love it. What a valuable post for people who maybe are feeling out of place with the group of people they're "supposed" to be friends with. I don't think friendship should have limitations. Not just in age but really--at all. I hope that message gets through to those who need it.

  2. Paige Baker is amazing and this post completely exuded that! I found your blog via Paige and definitely a follower now.

    PS. I also feel the mere age of 35 at 22. I find it as an attribute, yeah? :)

  3. this was a lovely and well-written genuine post- i adore it and feel so honored to be mentioned since i feel the same way about you! i meant it as a compliment when i said sometimes i forget when we're talking that you're 19. :) I LOVE our phone conversations and how easy and comfortable it is to talk to you. I can tell how much you give of yourself in a friendship and i value that because i value openness in all my relationships.

    I ADORE YOU!!!

    my friends are usually a few years older than me but i still say we're "the same age." :) lol

    I do so love this post! and you xo

    looking forward to our phone date tomorrow!

  4. great post! i've always had older friends, though the age gap definitely seems smaller as we all get older. i do have some younger friends, who i don't even think of as younger b/c we just jive on the same wavelength all.the.time.

  5. This was a fantastic post! Most of my friends are different ages. I guess a lot are around my age give or take a few years but I can get along with people a lot younger than me and some that are so much older than me.

    I don't really pay attention to age differences anymore because as long as I get to know someone and we click it doesn't really matter.

    P.S. I have written you a letter bit I just need to post it ;)


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